Top Funny Golf Lingo Terms for the Golf Course

Are you a golf enthusiast? Do you often find yourself confused by the plethora of terms used by other golfers? Well, never fear! Here is a handy guide to the top funny golf lingo that will have you sounding like a pro in no time.

1. Albatross – (aka: “double eagle”) a score of 3 under (less than) par.
2. Airmail – a shot that carries completely over something. Similar to an ‘airball’ in basketball. Example: “I hit driver, 3 wood and then airmailed the green with my wedge.”
3. Bag Rat – Caddie
4. Beach – (aka: “sand trap” or “bunker”) any hazard on the golf course consisting of sand. Example: “Doug’s approach shot fell short of the green and into the beach.”
5. Beagle – Term used to describe a score of double par on a single hole. “Snowman” is an acceptable substitute on par 4’s.
6. Bite – The insane golfer is often found yelling this word at a ball that is too stupid to know that a bladed lob wedge should not travel 160 yards. Rest assured that in the vast majority of instances, if a golfer is yelling this word, the final result will indeed “bite.”
7. Brazilian – Just shaves the hole
8. Cabbage – any type of thick or tall grass, typically found off the fairway or behind the green.
9. Chili Dip – when a chip or pitch shot is hit a much shorter distance than intended/expected.
10. Cuban – Needed one more revolution
11. Condom – Safe, but didn’t feel right
12. Dance floor – The Green. Perhaps the term comes from the smooth surface and relative flatness of the green, to convey the joy that accompanies finally making it to the green.
13. Dawn patrol – The golfers who are the first to play each day, so named because they start their match around the course at sunrise.
14. Depth Charge – a putt that is lagged ever so softly down a slope towards the hole, allowing gravity and the angle of the green to work the ball towards the green rather than the force of the putt itself. Example: “John was on the second tier of the green, 8 feet above the hole, so he just threw a depth charge towards the hole hoping for the best.”
15. Drain – the act of sinking a putt into the cup. Example: “Geddy drained a thirty-five-foot putt for birdie.”
16. Four-jack – To take four putts on a hole. Only tolerable for those who can drive the green on a par five. When asked how he four-jacked a hole at the Masters, Steve Ballesteros replied, “I miss. I miss. I miss. I make.” Well said.
17. Fried Egg – refers to a lie, usually in a sand trap, where the ball appears to be the yolk of a fried egg and the sand (or ground) around the ball resembles the whites.
18. Golf widow – The wife of an obsessive golfer. She doesn’t know who Jack Nicklaus is, and she doesn’t care. Her husband will remember Jack’s birthday before he remembers hers.
19. Grocery money – Winnings from a golf bet that the winner pledges to spend on food and drink, or groceries, usually at the nineteenth hole.
20. Grow teeth – A golfer’s plea for the ball to stop quickly.
21. Jar – Clearly the best term ever used to describe the hole. Proper usage of this term include such phrases as, “I jarred a forty footer to save double.”
22. Jail – Where a golf ball usually lies after a hacker hits it. A place from which escape is nearly impossible. Deep rough, woods, buried lies, and other unpleasant places represent jail for a golf ball.
23. Jigger – an old fashioned short iron wedge that was used to extract the ball from deep rough.
24. Juice – (aka: “backspin“, “english“, “junk“) the imaginary substance applied to the ball that causes it to roll or bounce in a direction other than that in which it was struck. Especially when hitting a ball into a green. Example: “Q: How did you pull the ball back towards the hold like that? A: I just gave it a little juice!”
25. Jungle – (aka: “jail”) a term used to describe a lie in the middle of many trees or overgrowth (fescue, thick rough, etc.) as it might be in the jungle.
26. Lip out – A putt that hits the lip and spins out.
27. Nuked – When you hit a shot that achieves the absolute maximum distance for that club – “nuked it”
28. On fire – You’re on fire when everything you do on the course seems to work out just as you planned.
29. Oscar Bravo – These two simple words are often used after your playing partner has pumped one into someone’s backyard and asks, “Where did that go.” This sounds infinitely better than “OB” or “Out of Bounds”.
30. Peg – (aka: “tee”) a synonym for a tee (not the tee box). A small, usually, but not always, wooden utensil on which a golf ball is set prior to taking the first shot of any hole. Example: “Patrick preferred not to use a tee on par three holes, on which he used an iron.”
31. Postage stamp – (aka: “postage stamp green”) a green that is particularly small (i.e. as small as a postage stamp). Example: “All the greens on that course are postage stamps – It is impossible to score well there!”
32. Ready golf – In ready golf, each player may “fire when ready,” a procedure instituted to speed up play.
33. Reload – a slang term meaning that the player is going to hit a second (or third or fourth or…) shot from the same location as he/she just did. Often used on the tee, and even more often when the first shot was hit out of bounds. Example: “Curtis, that shot’s long gone. You might as well reload.” A term also used each time the beer cart approaches, as in “Let’s reload.”
34. Robbed – Golfers love to complain about being robbed, usually when a putt doesn’t break when it should have, or when a putt traveling at Mach 2 doesn’t fall into the hole as it should have, or when a tee shot forty yards off line winds up six inches out of bounds.
35. Sandbagger – a golfer who understates his/her handicap with the hope that this will give him/her an advantage when playing against other golfers in a handicapped event. Example: “Sean’s such a sandbagger! I played against him last week, and he said he was a 14 handicap and proceeded to shoot a 79 gross.”
36. Shag bag – a container usually made of heavy fabric used to carry balls for practice. May also be constructed to assist with the picking up of practice balls after they have been hit. Example: “I brought a shag bag full of balls with me to the practice bunker.”
37. Snowman – Term use to describe a score of “8” on a single hole.
38. Spray – to hit the ball in any direction other than that intended. Example: “After getting off the tee very well during my last round – I sprayed the ball all over the place today.”
39. Sweet spot – (aka: “sweet spot”, “screws”, “nut”) the center of the clubface. The spot on the clubface where the golfer intends to contact the golf ball and off of which the ball is expected to fly truest. Example: “It sure felt good to be the first off the with about 20 colleagues watching and hit my drive right on the sweet spot/screws”
40. Victory lap – The circle a putt makes around the rim of the cup before falling in.
41. Waggle – the movement of a player and his golf club prior to or during the address position. A waggle is specific to each individual golfer, and may involve the back and forth movement of the club head in an attempt to get comfortable or stay loose prior to making the anticipated shot.
42. Watery Grave – Where disobedient golf balls go every time you try to carry a water hazard.
43. Wormburner – (aka: “worm burner“) a shot with such a low trajectory that it skims the ground such that the ball would be burning up any worms on the surface. You can usually hear a wormburner and although the shot may be effective, it is never intentional.
44. Yips – the either real or imaginary nervous twitching of muscles at the most inopportune time in a golf swing or putt. Example: “For the past three rounds, Stacy’s been missing all her putts to the left. It is the worst case of the yips I’ve seen in a while!”
45. Zinger – (aka: “zinner“) a shot that takes off from the head of the club and files toward the target, reminiscent of a line drive in baseball. Often associated with a shot hit thin. Example: “Julie hit a great drive over the water, but then on her approach shot hit a zinger over the green.”
46. The Zone – When everything you do is right, and you know it’s right before you do it, that’s the zone. The number of times you get to visit the zone, and the amount of time you spend there, can vary erratically for most of us.