A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.
Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white. They’re sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.
A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are … that’s why I get so many calls to play with friends.
You probably wouldn’t look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine.
Golf lessons may improve your game but your character is up to you.
The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway.
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
If you want to leave footprints in the sands of time, wear golf shoes.
If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
The Downhill Speed Limiter on Golf Carts was designed by someone’s wife.
A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
In golf the more you practice, the luckier you get.
No matter how many great shots you have on the practice tee, they will all be used up once you start your round.
It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
The worse someone is at golf, the more likely they will give you advice.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf … it is also just a matter of time before the IRS investigates your business.