Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?
Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn’t you?
Golfer: Caddie, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a crime any day of the week!
Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time, Caddie. It’s distracting!
Caddy: This isn’t a watch, sir. It’s a compass.
Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?
Golfer: Well Caddie, How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf.
Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: I didn’t realize you had played before, sir.
Golfer: This golf is a funny game.
Caddy: It’s not supposed to be.
Golfer: Do you understand the nature of an oath?
Caddy: Boy: Do I? I’m your caddie, remember!
Golfer: That can’t be my ball, It looks far too old.
Caddy: It’s been a long time since we started, sir.
Golfer: “Notice any improvement today, caddie?”
Caddy: “Yes, ma’am. You’ve had your hair done.”
Golfer: This hole is good for one long drive and a putt.
Caddy (after ball travels only one meter): And now for one hell of a putt.
Golfer: What sort of a ball was it?
Caddy: A brand new one — never been properly hit yet!
Golfer: Caddiemaster, that boy isn’t even eight years old
Caddy: Better that way, sir. He probably can’t count past ten.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course
Caddy: Try heaven, Sir, “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
Golfer: This is the worst golf course I’ve ever played on!
Caddy: This isn’t the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
Golfer: Caddie, how would you have played that last shot?
Caddy: “Under an assumed name.”
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
Golfer: Caddie, Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddy: Oh, he’s played with you, too, huh?
Golfer: Caddy, why didn’t you see where my ball went?
Caddy: Well, it doesn’t usually go anywhere, Sir, You caught me off guard.