Caddie Comments

Joke 1

Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?

Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn’t you?

Joke 2

Golfer: Caddie, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?

Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a crime any day of the week!

Joke 3

Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time, Caddie. It’s distracting!

Caddy: This isn’t a watch, sir. It’s a compass.

Joke 4

Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?

Caddy: Eventually.

Joke 5

Golfer: Well Caddie, How do you like my game?

Caddy: Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf.

Joke 6

Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!

Caddy: I didn’t realize you had played before, sir.

Joke 7

Golfer: This golf is a funny game.

Caddy: It’s not supposed to be.

Joke 8

Golfer: Do you understand the nature of an oath?

Caddy: Boy: Do I? I’m your caddie, remember!

Joke 9

Golfer: That can’t be my ball, It looks far too old.

Caddy: It’s been a long time since we started, sir.

Joke 10

Golfer: “Notice any improvement today, caddie?”

Caddy: “Yes, ma’am. You’ve had your hair done.”

Joke 11

Golfer: This hole is good for one long drive and a putt.

Caddy (after ball travels only one meter): And now for one hell of a putt.

Joke 12

Golfer: What sort of a ball was it?

Caddy: A brand new one — never been properly hit yet!

Joke 13

Golfer: Caddiemaster, that boy isn’t even eight years old

Caddy: Better that way, sir. He probably can’t count past ten.

Joke 14

Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course

Caddy: Try heaven, Sir, “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Joke 15

Golfer: This is the worst golf course I’ve ever played on!

Caddy: This isn’t the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!

Joke 16

Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.

Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”

Joke 17

Golfer: Caddie, how would you have played that last shot?

Caddy: “Under an assumed name.”

Joke 18

Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”

Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”

Joke 19

Golfer: Caddie, Do you think my game is improving?

Caddy: Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.

Joke 20

Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.

Caddy: Oh, he’s played with you, too, huh?

Joke 21

Golfer: Caddy, why didn’t you see where my ball went?

Caddy: Well, it doesn’t usually go anywhere, Sir, You caught me off guard.