Funny Golf Physics

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

In Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.

The Law of Physics States ... it's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard.

The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players lie well.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is yourself.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

The only time your ball ever bites is when it lands 30 feet short.

Golf is a game which the slowest people in the world are in front of you, and the fastest are behind.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.

There are two things you can do with your head down – play golf and pray.

To permanently lower your golf score, lay off for three weeks, and then quit for good.

When you select a club for a shot to the green, there are three possible outcomes: (1) It's the right club, but you change your mind. (2) It's the right club, but in the middle of your backswing you decide it's the wrong club so you hit it too hard or too easy. (3) It's the wrong club.

If you leave your 2-iron at home, then your 3-iron will become impossible to hit; if you leave your 2- and 3- irons at home, your 4-iron will become impossible to hit.

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing brain surgery.