Funny Golf Dictionary - A

Golf Dictionary - What golf terms really mean

1. Assuming the correct stance and placing the head of the club on the ground behind the ball prior to hitting it.
2. Directing statements to the ball before it is hit or while it is in flight, such as: "If you go into that trap, I'll never wash you again" or "In a way, I hope you miss that cup-I've always wondered what's inside a golf ball."

Advice - According to the rules of golf, advice is "any counsel or suggestion made by one golfer to another about the choice of club, method of play or making of a shot, which contains no more than five errors of fact, contradictory statements or harmful recommendations. Six or more such pieces of misinformation or miss-instruction shall constitute a formal golf lesson."

Afraid of the Dark What a putt is when it won't go in the hole.

Age Players - Accomplished golfers who have recorded one of two equally unusual golfing achievements: playing a round of 18 holes at the end of which they had a score equal to their age, or playing a round of 18 holes during all of which they acted their age.

Airmail To hit a shot much farther than planned (most commonly over the green). Amateur golfers frequently airmail approaches to greens fronted by hazards.

Albatross Another name for a double eagle, a score of three under par on a hole. The most famous albatross in golf's history was recorded by Gene Sarazen on the fifteenth hole at Augusta National Golf Club during the 1935 Masters Tournament. A term generally not used by the amateur golfer.

All Square - A term used in match play to indicate that both teams or individuals have cheated on an equal number of holes. See Dormie.

Amateur Golfer - One who plays golf for pleasure.

Amateur side Derisive term for the low side of the hole when putting. Amateur golfers often miss their putts short, or come out on the low side of the hole, meaning the ball hasn't been struck boldly enough to have a chance of falling in. Although a missed putt counts one stroke no matter where it stops, balls that run by the hole are apparently more "professional."

Analyst - Psychiatric specialist who treats individuals suffering from the delusion that playing golf is a form of pleasure.

Approach - Shot A shot which, if it had not caught the lip of the bunker and dropped back into the sand, would have rolled across the green and gone into the water. See Chip Shot and Pitch.

Apron - Fringe of low grass, or "frog hair," surrounding the green from which a tricky, easily flubbed shot that is half pitch and half putt is made. It is called a "chupp," a "putch" or, simply, "chin!"

Army golf Phrase used to describe the inconsistent, wayward shots of amateur golfers, that is, "left-right, left-right" (like the drill sergeant's call during an army march).

Arnie's Army Name given to the legions of loyal fans who flock to tournaments to follow Arnold Palmer, golf's "king." Arnie has always been a fan favorite, and dozens of times his fans have kicked, blocked, or thrown a wayward Palmer shot back onto the fairway or green to help their hero.

Away - The player whose ball lies farthest from the hole is "away" and is required by the rules of golf to make the first shot. If, after the stroke is taken, the ball still lies farthest from the hole, the rules permit the player to kick the first bag and throw the first club.