Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
for the three saddest words in golf—out
of bounds. You don't want to go there.
Obstructions - Golfers may move
their balls away from or remove any artificial
obstacles not part of the course such as
torn and crushed hats and other discarded
articles of clothing; chewed scorecards;
ripped instruction books; halved golf balls;
discarded golf clubs; demolished handcarts;
and over turned and burning electric carts.
- The history of golf is filled with the
memorable accomplishments of the game's
stars, but, alas, the more humble achievements
of less skilled players often go unsung.
- a club with the head slightly behind
(or offset) the shaft.
You're on fire when everything you do
on the course seems to work out just as
On the clock Condition
under which a group of slow-playing professionals
is informed by tournament officials that
their play will be timed to ensure it is
in accordance with the rules and continued
slow play will result in a penalty—a warning
that usually draws a response of incredulity
and disdain from the golfers. This slow
play by the guys on TV is largely responsible
for the five- and six-hour rounds that are
so common on public golf courses today.
On the screws
Description for a well-executed shot. In
the good ol' days, when woods were made
of wood, club makers
a plastic insert into the club face as a
safeguard against premature wear. These
inserts were fastened to the club with screws.
When a golfer would hit a good shot, he
would say, "I hit it on the screws."
One a side When
your sandbagging opponent insists that his
handicap is two strokes higher than yours,
you'll have to give him two strokes to make
your match even. So you give him a stroke
on the most difficult hole on each nine—one
a side. Then you sit back and watch as he
One-putt - To
send the ball into the hole with one stroke
of a putter after taking 11 shots to reach
the green. See Four-Putt.
Open - A tournament
that is open to all players, amateur or
professional, who can qualify. Big tournaments
like the British and U.S. Opens are the
goal of any talented golfer, but it is worth
remembering that whereas in, say, tennis
only 50 percent of the players in the men's
singles final will lose, in golf more than
98 percent of the players in the final round
of a tournament invariably fail to win.
Open the door
To misplay a shot that allows your opponent
back into a hole, a match, or the tournament.
Oscar Bravo - These two simple words
are often used after your playing
partner has pumped one into
someone's backyard and asks, "Where
did that go." This sounds infinitely
better than "OB" or "Out of Bounds".
Oscar Brown Nickname
used by some of the funnier golfers for
out of bounds, but only when their opponent
hits it OB. As in "Sorry, pal, that's Oscar
Brown." Time to reload.
Out of Bounds
- A ball lies out of bounds and may not
be played if the whole of its circumference
is beyond the line marked by the stakes
that form the golf course boundary. Many
golfers feel, however, that a ball which
appears to be out of bounds should, considering
the curvature of the earth, be more properly
regarded as in bounds since it lies a good
24,900 miles inside the out-of-bounds line.
Overclubbing & Underclubbing
- Using clubs that hit the ball over your
target ("too much club") or short of it
("too little club") is a common mistake
made by many players. You can overcome this
error by understanding what each club can
do, and meanwhile you can compensate by
overlooking and undercounting, and, if caddies
are present, by overtipping with an understanding.
Overcook it To
hit a shot too hard. Also, when you intentionally
draw, fade, slice, or hook a shot and you
get too much curvature, you've overcooked