Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
Ladies' Days &
Hours - Times
set aside by a golf club during which the
use of the course is exclusively reserved
for women players, who are sometimes barred
at other times. The number of women playing
golf has increased dramatically in recent
years, but as the institution of Ladies'
Days and Hours indicates, their presence
on courses is still objectionable to male
players who take the game of golf very seriously
and resent the sudden intrusion into their
hallowed pastime of the lady golfer, whose
insistence on actually hitting balls toward
the holes interferes with the conduct of
business deals, interrupts
the recounting of lengthy comic narratives,
and impedes the timely exchange of critical
information on the recent performance of
automobiles and the relative prospects of
Tees - Teeing areas placed somewhat
closer to the greens to compensate for the
fact that although women are as capable
as men of playing first-rate golf, they
do not, as a rule, hit the ball as far.
Other allowances made for women golfers
to permit them to hold their own during
rounds with male players include giving
them, along with their scorecards, a copy
of The Wall Street Journal,
a booklet of old jokes and a laminated card
on which is printed key data on the recent
performance of various cars and ball clubs.
- A long putt played conservatively to make
sure that the ball ends up near enough to
the hole to be sunk with the next stroke.
If this putt is missed, it is referred to
as an "aaag."
Term of admiration for a well-hit drive.
For example, "That is large! Anything flying
that far should have a stewardess on it."
Lateral Hazard - any hazard that
runs parallel to the fairway.
Term for a drive that takes off like
a Tomahawk cruise missile. A launched ball
is usually large and vice versa.
sod over it Another term for hitting
the ground behind the ball first. Theoretically,
if you hit the ground firmly and far enough
behind the ball, you may produce a divot
that covers the undisturbed ball. (See also
fat, hit it.}
To aim short of the green and chip on
rather than attempt a long or otherwise
risky Approach shot.
Rule used in certain parts of America
during autumn allowing a golfer to play
another ball without penalty when his previous
shot is lost and assumed covered by leaves.
The leaf rule can cause a lot of arguments.
You can protect against opponents invoking
this rule by carrying a book of matches
and gasoline in your golf bag.
What a golfer does as his game begins
to fall apart. For duffers this process
often begins at the first tee. With reference
to the pros, this term is usually applied
to a golfer who is leading a tournament
but has begun to give away shots as his
game disintegrates. Greg Norman has leaked
more oil than the Exxon Voldez.
A shot that comes to rest so close to
the hole it appears to be leaning against
the flagstick. A term usually associated
with horseshoes or quoits.
Golfers - Although golf, with its overwhelming
right-handed orientation, penalizes left-handed
players more than other sports do, it also
provides two significant advantages to "south
grips": most golfers can't borrow your spare
golf glove and they can't demonstrate the
"right way to swing that club" after you
muff your drive.
- A ball is said to have "legs" if it continues
to roll a significant distance after landing.
If it bounces into the rough and becomes
wedged under a rock or in the crook of a
tree, it is said to have "claws." If it
runs down a bank and into
a water hazard, it has "fins." If, on a
putt, it rings the cup without going in,
it has "lips." And if it does all these
things on the same hole, it is given "wings"
and flung into the underbrush.
- 1. Where the ball comes to rest after
being hit by a golfer. 2. The number of
strokes it took to get it there, as reported
by that golfer.
- Golf courses are often referred to as
"links," but, strictly speaking, this term
applies only to a course laid out over the
natural contours of the bleak, wind-swept
land along the sea, as was the original
course at St. Andrews.
of grass surrounding the hole.
made by fellow golfer when your putt
have two of on your face.
A putt that hits the lip and spins out.
A shot that's a little fat but still
okay. Not to be confused with a Roseanne,
which is very fat and not okay.
Shot - a shot that goes straight up
in the air and stops very quickly on the
Rules - A set of regulations that are
ignored only by players on one specific
course rather than by golfers as a whole.
Condition afflicting golfers who refuse
to concede putts, even very short ones.
- The angle of a clubface and the corresponding
steepness of the shot it will produce. Loft
angles range from the relatively shallow
ones used for long, unobstructed shots (12°
for a driver, 20° for a fairway wood, 30°
for a 5-iron) to the much steeper ones needed
to clear obstacles (47 ° for a 9-iron, 58°
for a sand wedge, 75° for the tip of a golf
shoe, and up to 100° for a throwing arm).
wrong Description of a golfer who can
hit the ball long distances
but seldom in the right direction. As the
late, great Harvey Penick said, "The woods
are full of long hitters."
Impediments - Natural and legally movable
objects that interfere with play, such as
dazed or disoriented reptiles or mammals,
stunned birds, pulverized stones, flattened
bushes, uprooted shrubs, severed branches
and felled trees, or if you are Tiger Woods
boulders that require a complete work crew
to move. See Obstructions.
- An opponent's missing ball after 90 seconds
of searching, or one of your own after 20
game Phrase describing a golfer who
is excellent in all phases of the game.
You say, "He certainly has a lot of game."
Then you say, "I hate him."
- The side of a hole on a sloping green
that gravity tends to send a ball away from.
Canny golfers always aim for the "high side"
of the hole or lay the flagstick along the
edge of the cup and putt toward this "safe
In stroke-play tournaments, a term used
to describe a player who is poised to make
a move toward the top of the leader board.
In amateur golf, it describes the lecherous
souls who frequent the nineteenth hole.