Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
successfully executed shot.
Keeping Score - In general, golfers
assign a number exactly one higher than
the previous one for each shot they play
to arrive at the cumulative total of all
the strokes required to complete a given
hole. While it has the merit of simplicity,
this system does tend to produce discouragingly
high numbers, and players who perennially
score in the 90s or higher might think about
switching to an unconventional numbering
system which, while still adhering strictly
to the custom of counting each and every
stroke, nevertheless provides a more acceptable
result. Two excellent candidates are the
arithmetic series -2,-1,0,1,2,3,4 etc. and
1,2,2,3,3,3,4,4,4,4 etc. Also worth considering
are binary numbers, which, no matter how
large, are always composed of zeros and
ones, and Roman numerals, whose simple written
form (the key golf numbers 4,5,6,7 and 8
are indicated by IV,V,VI,VII and VIII) permits
alteration of the scorecard with the effortless
erasure or addition of an "I" or two rather
than the complex conversion of, say, a telltale
Arabic "9" into a "5."
Literally, the way the ball bounces.
Sometimes it kicks your way and sometimes
it doesn't, but golfers are always asking
for a good kick.
To hit the ball with great force. This
was John Daly's "swing thought" during the
1991 PGA Championship at Crooked Stick.
Before each shot his caddie, Jeff "Squeaky"
Medlen, uttered one word: "Kill." Daly did.
A putt in the three-to-four-foot range
that causes emotional and physical problems
for the golfer. The term comes from the
nervous trembling that accompanies these
short putts. Every golfer experiences a
knee-knocker at some time. (See also throw-up
range and yips.}
- Baggy trousers worn by golfers in the
1930s. They were called "plus fours" because
they were cut off four inches below the
knee, then tucked into long socks. Plus
fours have disappeared from golf courses,
and the only golfing apparel anything like
them that exists today is a much more appealing
form of attire, worn by women, known as
The one iron. The toughest club to hit.
If you carry a 'knife in your bag, you're
either a real player or a phony who wants
to look like a real player. A few swings
with the knife will reveal the true you.
Lee Trevino advises golfers caught in a
lightning storm to hold their one irons
aloft because "even God can't hit a one
Term for a shot that is hit with an
abbreviated follow-through to produce a
low-trajectory, slight fade, and plenty
of spin. A knockdown shot usually doesn't
travel as far as a normal shot. This
shot is employed when control is paramount.
(See also punch.')
A club that is a clone or forgery of
an original design. Knockoff clubs are attractive
to golfers because they're so much less
expensive than the clubs they imitate.
A shot without spin that has an erratic
flight. Some baseball pitchers find
success with a knuckleball; golfers never
- A golf-like 17th-century Dutch game played
on frozen canals with clubs and balls. A
similar game called "chole" was being played
in France in the 14th century,
and there are other, even earlier traces
of the sport. For example, in the modest
tomb of King Puttankhamen I (1350 B.C.-1345
BC), a set of 14 bronze-shafted clubs were
discovered, each one broken in two; and,
in eastern Turkey, an ancient
Babylonian clay tablet from about 4000 BC
was unearthed that bears an astonishing
resemblance to a scorecard, with the numbers
1 through 18 inscribed in a row and, next
to them, scores (a few of them changed several
times) that add up to 117 but are followed
in the space for a total at the bottom of
the column by the number 77.