Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
Ice cream on shit - When you
sink a 30 foot putt for an eight.
Ball - Except
in a hazard, players may, without incurring
a penalty, lift a ball they think is theirs
and clean it for purposes of identification.
After doing so, they must put it back in
exactly the same spot from which they took
it. However, most golfers are aware that
in the few seconds needed to complete this
maneuver, the earth itself has moved in
a number of directions, both because of
its own rotation and due to the movements
it shares with the solar system
and the galaxy, and they compensate for
these motions by shifting the position of
the ball from, say, the muddy divot hole
from which it was removed to a point a few
trillionths of an Astronomical Unit away
(about a foot) occupied by a nice tuft of
A questionable lie, where it is uncertain
how the ball will react when struck.
Lie - A ball that is in a position that
is both completely obstructed by an immovable
object and continuously observed by an incorruptible
The last nine holes of the course, also
known as the inward half. You're moving
in toward the clubhouse.
bag Expression used by&golfer who is
confident in his ability to pull off a certain
shot. The shot is in his bag.
pocket What a golfer tells the other
members of his group when he's picked up
his ball and conceded a hole. "I'm in my
pocket." As a result, the other players
are likely to be in his pocket, too—to take
hunt Term describing any player who
has a chance of winning a tournament heading
into its final stages. Alternatively, describes
any hacker looking for his errant tee shot.
Leather - A phrase which indicates that
a putt is close enough to the hole to be
conceded. A putter is placed on the green
with its head in the cup to determine whether
or not the putt in question is even with
or below the beginning of the grip, and
if it is, it's a Gimme. Many players find
this procedure unnecessarily restrictive
and generally agree on a policy of making
concessions if a putt is "in the local dialing
area." See Gimme.
linen Equivalent of in my pocket. Used
by snappy dressers.
- Golf is virtually impossible to learn
from a book, and some personalized instruction
is absolutely essential, but there are a
handful of simple admonitions that every
player would do well to commit to memory:
lock your knees.
bend your left arm.
loosen your grip.
pick up your head.
count out loud.
write in ink on your scorecard.
Interlocking Grip - a type of grip
where the little finger of the lower
hand is interlocked with the index
finger of the upper hand.
- 1. Penology. Variously shaped pieces of
metal by the use of which individuals are
subjected to torment. 2. Golf. Variously
shaped pieces of metal by the use of which
individuals are subjected to torment.
any good? Rhetorical question posed
to stunned opponents by a golfer who has
just hit a career-best shot.