Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
green. Perhaps the term conies from the
smooth surface and relative flatness of
the green, or maybe it is meant to convey
the joy that accompanies finally making
it there. One of the most famous dances
performed on the green is the "sabre dance"
done by Chi Chi Rodriguez to celebrate a
Dawn patrol The golfers who are
the first to play each day, so named because
they start their march around the course
When your ball is in a position from
which you have no chance of getting it onto
the green with your next shot. These positions
include squirrels' nests and car windshields.
hmmm, now lets see, if an ace is a
hole in one, then a deuce must be a hole
in two! That's right Sherlock! It is a
score of 2 on a hole! Too many
of these on your scorecard means you're
probably only counting your tee shots.
- Golfers are expected to play "without
undue delay." The question of exactly what
constitutes undue delay has been under intensive
study since 1971.
Golfers who habitually play first in
the morning; members of the dawn patrol.
in the hole The action of putting the
ball so that it falls into the cup as it
is dying, or losing the last of its
momentum. Such strokes run the risk of becoming
putts, left on the
amateur side of the hole.
A golfer who takes a big divot with
his iron shots. A digger's swing
takes a very steep Approach to the ball.
The opposite is a picker, a golfer
who sweeps the ball off the ground with
a flatter swing path.
- Tiny circular hollows impressed onto the
outer covering of golf balls to regulate
their lift. The surface is also usually
punctuated with at least one large cut,
or "smile," caused by a shanked iron shot.
Curiously, golfers who complete these "faces"
by adding eyes, ears, hair and a nose to
roughly resemble whoever taught them golf
find that they can hit their works of art
nearly twice the distance of an undecorated
- Colorful Scottish word for the piece
of turf scooped from the ground in front
of the ball in the course of an iron shot.
Scotland, depending on
its size, a divot is referred to as a "wee
tuftie" (2 " x 4 "), "peg o' sward" (4 "
x 6 "), "snatch of haugh" (6" x 8"), "fine
tussock" (8" x 10"), "glen" (1' x 2'), "firth"
(11/z' x 3'), "loch" (2' x 4') and "damned
English divot" (anything larger than 8 square
- A hole with a 90° angle between the tee
and the green. One with a pockmarked tee
area, unkempt fairways or a patchy green
is a "dogear." One on which large amounts
of casual water regularly accumulate is
a "dog paddle." One with an elevated tee
and green and a sunken, treacherous Approach
is a "dog dish." And a course on which holes
like these predominate is, simply, a "dog."
Derogatory term for a golf course that
is not well maintained.
- Formal term for a team in match play that
leads by as many holes as remain to be played.
"Hustlers" will often deliberately shoot
poorly during the early part of a round
to get gullible opponents into this apparently
favorable position, then propose a greatly
increased, all-or-nothing bet on the remaining
holes, with a sudden-death playoff if necessary.
How can you spot these tricksters? It's
not easy, but, generally speaking, don't
play golf for
money with players who
use two-piece clubs that unscrew in the
centre of the shaft, who put baby powder
on their hands before grasping the driver
or use billiard chalk on their clubfaces,
or who have a habit of saying things like
"Dunlop 4 in the centre pocket" before making
Bogey - Two strokes over par, or, for
a golfer who happened to score a 7 on a
long par-5, a birdie and an eagle that occurred
on the same hole. See
Chen Hitting the ball twice on the same
shot. The term derives from the 1985 U.S.
Open when tournament leader T. C. Chen suffered
a disastrous two-stroke penalty for hitting
his ball twice while attempting a shot from
greenside rough. Rattled by his mistake,
Chen was caught and passed by eventual champion
dip In a four-ball match, a double
dip occurs when you and your partner
both birdie the same hole. The dipping
is done by your opponents—into their
Eagle - Three strokes less than par
for a given hole. This unusual achievement
might be accomplished by, say, taking advantage
of a tailwind on a straight par-5 hole to
get down in two strokes, scoring a hole-in-one
on a short par-4 or just skipping entirely
a difficult par-3 hole. See HOLE-IN-ONE.
sandy A score of par or better on a
hole where two shots are played from bunkers,
most often recorded on a par four or par
five where one sand shot is played from
a fairway bunker and one shot from a greenside
bunker. Amateurs rarely record a double
sandy, but if they do they can collect
because it's usually included as junk
dirty Playing the ball "as it lies."
No rolling the ball over or sitting it up.
The way the game is meant to be played;
your score is meaningless unless you play
it down and dirty.
Downhill Lie - the ball is on the
downslope of a hill. When a right handed
player addresses the ball his right foot
will be higher than his left foot.
road When you fail to qualify for the
next round of play in a tournament. Also
called on your way home.
Where the ball goes when you absolutely
launch one from the tee. Borrowed from the
baseball term for where a home run ball
- To make a putt ("drain it")
a snake - you have just holed an
impossible putt that curved all over the
Shot - This is when a right handed
player hits a controlled hook, which
goes from right to left.
- Although clothes in a variety of styles
are acceptable on a golf course, a few general
pointers are worth keeping in mind when
selecting an outfit:
- It should
be visible to an individual with normal
eye sight looking out the window of
a spacecraft in orbit.
- It should
be made out of a fabric derived from
a substance that was mined or refined
rather than grown or raised.
- It should
- It should
be composed of no fewer than eight separate
colors or shades and should bear a
minimum of four distinct emblems.
scuffed, the shoes should require repainting
or re-stuccoing rather than shining.
hat should be identifiable as such only
by its position on the wearer's head.
Exclamation that follows the sinking
of a putt, particularly a long putt.
A shot that
travels only a few feet,
usually without getting airborne.
- The initial shot on each hole, made with
a special wood, the driver, on par-4 and
par-5 holes, and with shorter woods or irons
on par-3 holes. Because the drive is so
critical to the play of the hole, total
concentration is essential, and thus, if
the shot is spoiled because of some audible
disturbance inadvertently caused by another
player on the tee, such as a pair of shoelace
tips clicking together or the wind whistling
through an onlooker's eyelashes, it is customary
to take the shot over. See
for show and putt for dough "He who
putts the best wins the most." This timeless
golf cliché supports the contention of some
PGA Tour critics who say the
professional game amounts to little more
than a weekly putting contest.
- This is the club known as the 1 wood.
It is usually the club that hits the
ball the farthest. It is also a person
that very rich people have to haul them
Iron - The #1 iron, sometimes used for
tee shots. Its chief virtue is that, unlike
a wooden-headed driver, it puts a deep cut
in the ball while driving it into the rough
or out of bounds, thus ensuring that if
the golfer who hit the ball cannot find
it, no other player will get any use out
Range - A place where golfers go to
get all the good their systems.
When the club strikes the ground and
then bounces into the ball. (See also
chili dip, dub, )
cat, like a Description of a ball with
plenty of backspin that hits the green and
a Ball - A recent rule change does away
with the old requirement that players introducing
a ball to replace one that is lost do so
by dropping it over their shoulder and behind
their back. Players may now drop it at arm's
length in any direction they choose. Of
course, as before, a penalty stroke is assessed.
This rule change does not affect clandestine
ball drops, which are still made from the
bottom edge of the pants pocket with the
thumb and first two fingers of one hand
while idly swinging a club with the other.
And, it goes without saying, there is still
no penalty for such drops.
To mishit a shot badly, causing it to roll
on the ground and come to a stop far short
of its target. A dubber is the guy
in the group ahead who takes fourteen shots
to reach the green and still insists he's
having fun. (See also hacker and duffer.')
A shot that ducks to the left
as soon as it is hit. More hazardous than
a slice because it carries topspin and tends
to roll farther after reaching the ground.
As Lee Trevino once said, "You can talk
to a fade, but a hook won't listen."
- A golfer whose actual score on any given
hole is ordinarily more than twice his or
her reported score, - one who hits a lot
of bad shots. Can also be called a