Funny Golf Dictionary -
Golf Dictionary - What
golf terms really mean
thick, inescapable rough. Also called
spinach. Green, leafy vegetables are
not good for your golf game.
Caddie - Individual who carries
bags for golfers and assists them in the
playing of the course. Ideally, a caddy
should possess the eyes of a big-game hunter,
the strength of a linebacker, the patience
of a diplomat and the memory of a Mafia
Calamity Jane - Legendary golfer
Bobby Jones' nickname for his "straight
shooting" putter. Few contemporary golfers
give their putters nicknames, but those
who do usually choose more appropriate sobriquets
like "Runaround Sue" and "Unsinkable Molly
The hole. The cup. The place to put your
putts. When you sink a putt, you canned
Carpet The green. Soft, well-manicured
fairways are also referred to as being "like
Cart girl The lovely young lady
who operates the beer cart (a motorized
vehicle that carries refreshments to golfers
out on the course). These refreshments typically
cost a fortune, which probably explains
why golf courses hire beautiful young women
to sell them.
- the distance in the air that a ball
must travel before it clears the water
and lands in the sand trap. (i.e. you
need 160 yards to carry the water means
you need to hit the ball 160 yards in
the air to clear the water)
golf Term for when two golfers
riding in the same golf cart repeatedly
hit the ball in the same direction (usually
into the rough). An efficient but not necessarily
pleasant way to play.
Casual Water - A temporary accumulation
of water. The rules of golf provide that
a ball may be moved without penalty from
any non-permanent wet area, such as a rain
puddle. Tears, however, no matter how copious,
do not constitute casual water.
Cellophane bridge An invisible
cover over the top of the hole
City A tee shot that lands directly
in the center of the fairway has gone
to Centre City.
cut A putt that goes directly into
the center of the cup.
When a putt needs just one more
revolution to fall into the hole. Get it?
One more revolution?
Chew Exclamation used by golfers
who want their ball to stop—now! (See also
bite, grow teeth, growl, juice.')
Chilli dip An improperly executed
chip shot in which the club hits the ground
before hitting the ball, usually resulting
in a shot that rolls just a few inches.
This is one shot you have in common with
Jack Nicklaus because everyone who has ever
played golf has done it. You've just done
it a little more frequently than Jack.
In - this happens when you hit a
chip shot (see below) into the cup.
(Note: this is usually good!)
Chip Shot - A short, low Approach
shot that gets a player into position for
one or more missed putts. See
- this word has two meanings. One is to
grip lower on the club than normal (you
may hear the term "choke down" on the
shaft - not that shaft...) The other
definition in golf (and most other
sports) means to collapse under pressure
(i.e. he "choked" under the pressure of
Chop - to hit the ball with a
hacking motion or the word immediately
Cleek - 1. Old-fashioned chipping
iron. 2. Lateral water hazard on the legendary
8th hole ("The Poisoned Lotus") of the Royal
Hong Kong golf
course in Fanling.
Club Weight - There are three
ways to measure the weight of a club: its
overall weight, which ranges from about
13 ounces for a driver to just over 16 for
a sand wedge; its swing weight, which is
arrived at using a complex calculation of
the relationship between the distribution
of mass among a club's components and the
length of its shaft; and its "bring weight,"
which is an estimate of its apparent heaviness
on the 18th fairway on an afternoon in July
and ranges between 21 and 46 pounds.
Clubface - The metal or wooden
striking surface that is located on the
front of a club head above the sole and between
the toe and the heel. There is a specific
point on every clubface called the "sweet
spot," which, when it connects with a ball,
produces maximum accuracy and power as well
as a solid, gratifying feeling of perfect
contact. It is difficult to say exactly
where the sweet spot is since it varies
from club to club, but generally speaking
it is in the dead centre of the "bland belt,"
which is very near the "rotten region,"
in the middle of the "lousy area" and surrounded
by the "loathsome zone.
Clubhead - the hitting area of the
golf club, the big knob on the end of
Club Head Covers - Wool or leather
"mittens" slipped over the heads of woods
to keep them dry. Zip-on coverings that
encase the entire club in wetsuit material
are also available and permit the eventual
reuse of a favorite club flung into a water
hazard, assuming that blind rage was tempered
the main building at the golf course
where players usually go to have
refreshments and tell about their 2
under par round (note: at times, you can
actually see their noses grow!)
- When a putt goes in and out quickly.
Colonel Bogey Just another name
for the dreaded score of one over par.
Comebacker A shot that backs up
after hitting the green. Or, for a high-handicapper,
a tee shot that hits one of the tee markers
and ends up behind you.
Committee - The duly
drafters of the rules.
Competition - Form of play clearly
established in the rules.
Condom - Safe, but didn't feel right
Cop The ranger on the public golf
course—the guy whose job it is to make sure
the flow of play is smooth and all golfers
are observing the game's etiquette. He's
never around when the fivesome in front
of you is too slow, but always around to
watch you hit a tee shot out of bounds or
into a lake.
Course - Area of play strictly
regulated under the rules that are
Course Rating - the difficulty of
a course. Usually the higher the course
rating the harder it is. ie the higher
Courtesy - Type of conduct specifically
mandated by the rules.
Cow pasture pool One of the less
endearing names for the game of golf. Senior
Tour pro Robert Landers
has given some legitimacy to the term by
practicing his game alongside the
"meadow muffins" on his dairy farm. Cow
pasture is also used to describe poorly
maintained golf courses.
Crapola - The rules.
- Needed one more revolution
The thing in the hole that holds the
flagstick. The metal or plastic cylinder
fitted into the hole in the green. Strictly
speaking, it is only the liner of the hole,
but in regular golf usage players will often
say "cup" when they mean "hole," just as
they frequently will say "just in bounds"
when they mean "out of bounds," "Oh, here
it is" when they mean "I can't find it"
and "five" when they mean "seven."
Cuppy A lie that's buried in a
hole or depression.
A controlled shot that moves from left to
right. Most golfers shout "Cut!"
to their ball after they see it heading
well to the left of their target, not realizing
that this is not an "on-demand" feature
of a golf ball.